Module 4week 4 of 8

The Protectors

The ways you learned to cope, and what they cost

Created by Dr John Forbes, Clinical Psychologist, and Hannah Nyx, registered arts therapist (AThR)

Start this week Check in for a new sitting
or download the workbook as a PDF

Module 4week 4 of 8

Welcome to The Protectors

Last week, you drew your Inner Critic and made it smaller on paper. This week, you'll meet the Protectors, the ways you learned to cope when feelings got too big. You'll make a portrait of one, with a small door in it, and write it a short thank-you note.

Everything here stays in the present. You won't be asked what your Protector guarded you from in the past, and you can skip anything that doesn't suit you.

Time

About 45 to 75 minutes in total. Most people spread it over two or three sittings.

You'll need

Paper, a pencil, coloured pencils or crayons, and a small piece of card, or the pages in your workbook. You can also make your portrait on screen.

Art skill

None needed. A few lines, a scribble or a blob of colour all count.

Your workbook

This week's pages as a PDF, with a page for your Protector's portrait, a card for your thank-you note, and a tracker for your numbers. Print the pages you'd like to use, or write on them in a PDF app.

You're welcome to print it for your own personal use.

Bring your toolkit

  • Your 0 to 10 scale, and your own words for a 3, a 5 and a 7
  • Your pause rules, so you know when to stop and settle
  • Your calm place image, or a colour or object you like
  • Your container, for anything that needs to wait

Not quite ready? If Module 3's checklist isn't ticked off yet, spend a little longer there first. This module will wait for you.

Nothing you type, draw or choose on these pages is saved or sent anywhere. It all clears when you leave or refresh the page, so keep anything you'd like in your workbook or journal.

Before you begin

Is this right for you right now?

This course asks you to slow down and get to know some tender sides of yourself. For most people that feels interesting and manageable. For some people, at some times, it can stir up more than is helpful.

Please wait, or use this course only alongside a therapist, if any of these are true for you right now

  • You're in crisis, or you're having thoughts of suicide.
  • You're currently harming yourself.
  • You often lose track of time, or feel unreal or outside your own body.
  • You're having flashbacks, where a painful memory feels as if it's happening again.
  • You're experiencing psychosis (for example, hearing or seeing things other people don't) or mania (for example, very high energy, racing thoughts and little need for sleep).
  • You're living with an eating disorder that is active at the moment.
  • Something traumatic happened to you recently, in the last few months.
  • You're in a relationship or a living situation where you don't feel safe.

Draw It Out is designed for adults aged 18 and over.

If any of these apply to you, it doesn't mean the ideas here aren't for you. It means the timing or the setting needs care. You could wait until things feel more settled. You could work through the course alongside a psychologist, counsellor or arts therapist. Or you could talk to your GP about what kind of support might suit you now.

If you're thinking about suicide, or you're not safe, please contact someone now. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 at any time, 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 if you're affected by domestic, family or sexual violence, or 000 if anyone is in danger. There are more options on the Support page.

Before this module

This module looks at the ways you learned to cope. Some ways of coping cause harm, such as self-harm, heavy drinking or drug use, restricting or bingeing on food, gambling, or hurting, threatening or controlling other people.

If you're harming yourself, or anything else on the list above is true right now, please wait, or do this module alongside a therapist. If a different way of coping causes harm, please don't work with that one on your own. Choose another Protector for this module, and talk to your GP or a therapist about it.

If a strong pull towards one of these habits comes up, stop and follow the pause rules.

Check in30 seconds

Check in

Check in at the start of every sitting, not just the first one. Notice how you feel right now, and rate your distress from 0 to 10.

How distressed do you feel right now?

0 to 6: carry on, and keep checking in7 or above: skip the art and settle

Tap your number. You can also write it in the tracker in your workbook, or in your journal.

Use these anchors, and your own words for them from Module 1

  • 0calm and settled
  • 3a bit unsettled, but easy to manage
  • 5stirred up, but you can think clearly
  • 7very upset, hard to think clearly or stay present
  • 10the most distressed you can imagine

If you're having thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, don't start today. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

This sitting

Start ?End ?

These pages don't keep your numbers. Write them in the tracker in your workbook, or in your journal, if you like.

Learnwith John

The ways you learned to cope

About 8 to 10 minutes to read

Hi, it's John. Last week, you drew your Inner Critic and made it smaller on paper. This week, we meet the Protectors, the ways you learned to cope when feelings got too big.

When feelings get too big

Everyone has moments when a feeling arrives faster or stronger than they can handle. Hurt, fear, shame or a feeling of being overwhelmed can rush in. In those moments, a Protector often steps in, almost before you notice.

A Protector's job is to keep the feeling at a distance. It might smooth things over, switch the feeling off or push back hard. Each of these makes sense in the moment. Each one also comes at a price.

A Protector is a way of coping that makes sense in the moment.

In this lesson

Three ways of protecting

Most Protectors use one of three styles: giving in, getting away or pushing back. They line up loosely with three reactions you may know: freezing, fleeing and fighting.

The Pleaser

gives in

It might say

  • It's fine, really.
  • Whatever you'd like.

Loosely like

freezing

The Switch-Off

gets away

It might say

  • I'll deal with it later.
  • Let's not get into it.

Loosely like

fleeing

The Fighter

pushes back

It might say

  • I've got this.
  • Back off.

Loosely like

fighting

The Pleaser gives in. It goes along with what others want and keeps the peace, even when part of you would like something different. It can look like kindness, and often it is. It can also leave your own needs unsaid.

The Switch-Off gets away. It turns the feeling down by keeping busy, scrolling, zoning out or staying away from whatever stirred it up. For a while, things go quiet and flat.

The Fighter pushes back. It takes charge, argues or acts bigger than it feels, so nothing can get close enough to hurt. It can look strong. Underneath, it's often guarding something tender.

Many people use all three, in different places. You might give in at work and switch off at home.

One moment, three Protectors

Picture a friend cancelling plans at the last minute. The Pleaser says, 'No worries at all!' The Switch-Off opens a game on your phone. The Fighter sends back a sharp reply. Same moment, three ways of protecting.

What it guards, and what it costs

Every Protector has a job. It guards the Tender Child, the young side of you that can feel sad, scared or small, from feeling hurt, rejected, ashamed or overwhelmed.

What changes when the wall has a door?

When a Protector steps in, the feeling doesn't disappear. It's kept at a distance for a while, which can help in the moment. The need underneath it can go unmet, though.

Here's the catch. A wall that keeps out hurt can also keep out good things. Over time, the cost can grow bigger than the help.

  • The Pleaser can cost you your voice.
  • The Switch-Off can cost closeness and joy.
  • The Fighter can cost connection.

Noticing, not blaming

Noticing a cost isn't the same as blaming yourself. Your Protector learned its job for good reasons, and you don't need to work out what those reasons were.

In Module 5, you'll look more closely at what the Tender Child needs, and how your Healthy Adult can help.

A wall that keeps out hurt can also keep out good things.

Protectors aren't the enemy

It can be tempting to want a Protector gone. In my experience, that rarely works. Protectors tend to hold on harder when they feel pushed.

What helps is the opposite. Protectors tend to step back when they trust that someone is handling things. That someone is your Healthy Adult, the kind, steady side of you that you'll keep getting to know in this course.

  1. Understand it
  2. Thank it
  3. Offer something better

So you don't argue a Protector away. You understand it, thank it for trying, and offer it something better: your Healthy Adult, looking after the need underneath. Then, a little at a time, it can rest.

Why a thank-you note?

Last week, the Harsh Judge got a firm limit, not thanks. Protectors are different. They were trying to look after you, so they get a thank-you, and a little room to rest.

The note is about these days and the days ahead. It never needs to say what your Protector guarded you from.

Try this week

When you notice an everyday Protector step in, see if you can name it: 'There's the Pleaser.' You don't need to change anything. Naming it is a first step towards understanding it.

You don't argue a Protector away. You offer it something better.

When a Protector needs more support

Some ways of coping involve habits that cause harm. These include self-harm, heavy drinking or drug use, restricting or bingeing on food, gambling, and hurting, threatening or controlling other people.

Protectors like these are doing a hard job, and they deserve real care. You deserve care too. When a habit hurts, threatens or controls someone else, they deserve to be safe as well. That care is best given with a GP, a psychologist or a counsellor beside you. So, for this module, please choose a different Protector to work with on your own.

If you're harming yourself at the moment, or anything on the list in 'Is this right for you right now?' is true for you, please wait, or do this module alongside a therapist.

If one of these is part of your life right now

You're not alone, and help is available. Your GP is a good first step, and can point you to services for drinking, drugs, eating, gambling or how you treat others. If a strong pull towards one of these habits comes up, stop and follow the pause rules. If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Choosing a Protector for this week

Choose one you know well that feels manageable to look at today, not the one tied to the most painful parts of your life. Everyday ones work well, like the Pleaser that agrees to one more favour, the Switch-Off that reaches for your phone, or the Fighter that needs the last word.

  • one more favour
  • reaching for your phone
  • needing the last word

Next, Hannah will show you how a portrait of a Protector comes together.

JohnDr John Forbes, Clinical Psychologist

Seewith Hannah

How a Protector portrait comes together

About 5 minutes

Hi, it's Hannah. This week you'll make a portrait of one Protector, with a small door in it, and a short thank-you note on a separate piece of paper. Here's how it comes together. The numbers match the steps further down this page.

Your turn.

In this example, the Protector is a Switch-Off, drawn as a teal wall, with a small coral circle safe behind it for the Tender Child. Rough waves on one side stand for what it guards against, and a drooping flower on the other side for what it costs. A little door shows that the wall could open a crack, one day, when it's safe to.

A few tips before you start

  • Keep it simple. A few lines are enough to make a Protector.
  • Words are optional. Colours and symbols can show what it guards and what it costs.
  • The door doesn't have to open. It's a possibility, not a demand.
  • If drawing it stirs up a lot, stop and go to Settle.

Three Protectors on paper

These examples were made for this course, to show how different a Protector portrait can look. John has added a note on what each one shows.

Malik's Switch-Off

Malik drew their Switch-Off as a brick wall with a tiny door, and a small coral circle behind it. Their note reads, 'Thank you for working so hard to look after me. These days I can take it from here sometimes.' The door is a possibility, not a demand.

Example artwork made for this course. The person described is fictional.

Jack's Pleaser

Jack's Pleaser is a smiling mask, with tired eyes behind it. On the cost side, Jack drew a closed mouth. Jack noticed what the Pleaser costs without blaming it, or themselves.

Example artwork made for this course. The person described is fictional.

Grace's Fighter

Grace drew their Fighter as a stick figure in oversized armour, with a small heart inside. Protectors often guard something tender, and Grace's armour shows it.

Example artwork made for this course. The person described is fictional.

What to notice in a portrait

  • What it guards: what's on the guarding side?
  • What it costs: what's on the other side?
  • The door: where is it, and how big?
  • The note: is it about these days, and the days ahead?

There's nothing to work out. Noticing is enough for now.

Your Protector will look different from all three. Every Protector does.

Makewith Hannah

A portrait of your Protector

About 30 to 40 minutes. You can split it into two sittings: the portrait first, then the cost, the door and the note.

Before you start. Stop and settle if your distress reaches 7 or above, if a painful memory starts to come back, or if you feel foggy or far away. Put your art away and go to the Settle page. You can come back to it another day, or not at all.

If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, stop and call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Starting a new sitting? Check in first. If you need to stop, go to Settle.

No art skill is needed. A few lines, a scribble or a blob of colour all count. The aim isn't a good picture. It's to see one of your Protectors from the outside, and thank it.

Go gently

  • Choose a Protector that feels manageable today, not the one tied to the most painful parts of your life.
  • If one of your Protectors involves a habit that causes harm, like those in 'When a Protector needs more support', choose a different one for now. If you're harming yourself at the moment, please wait, or do this module alongside a therapist.
  • If your Switch-Off tends to leave you foggy, far away or unreal, choose a different Protector for now.
  • Show feelings, not events. You never need to draw anything that happened.
  • If you feel a strong pull towards an old coping habit that harms you or someone else, stop and follow the pause rules. If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Choose your version

Full version (30 to 40 minutes)

Follow the seven steps below, on paper, on the pages in your workbook, or on screen.

Low-energy version (about 10 minutes)

Draw one shape for your Protector, with a dot behind it for the Tender Child. Write one line: 'Thank you for trying to look after me.' That's a complete version.

No-materials version

Choose an everyday object that suits your Protector, such as an umbrella, a coat or a door key. Hold it for a moment and silently thank it for trying to look after you. Then put it back where it belongs.

What you'll need

  • a sheet of plain paper, or the portrait page in your workbook
  • a pencil, and coloured pencils or crayons
  • a small piece of paper or card for the note, or the note card in your workbook

Optional extras

For collage, you can also use old magazines, scissors and a glue stick. Use non-toxic materials, and take care with scissors. Leave out photos of people. If a picture stirs something up, turn it face down and choose another.

Part one: your Protector

About 15 minutes

  1. 1
    Choose one Protector

    Check in first. Then choose one Protector you know well that feels manageable to look at today. Stuck? There are ideas to borrow below.

  2. 2
    Draw it

    Draw your Protector as a figure, an object or a shape. You could draw a wall, a shield, a smiling mask, a busy bee, a suit of armour or a guard dog. A few lines are enough.

  3. 3
    Add the Tender Child

    Draw a small symbol for the Tender Child, somewhere your Protector keeps it safe. A dot, a small circle or a little flame is enough.

  4. 4
    What it guards you from

    On one side, add what your Protector guards you from feeling, with colours, symbols or words. Show the feeling, such as rough waves for hurt, not anything that happened.

If your Protector shows up while you draw

The Switch-Off might make you want to stop and check your phone. The Pleaser might want the picture to look nice for someone else. The Fighter might want to rush it. That's common, and it's a chance to see your Protector at work. Notice it, name it, and carry on if you can. If you start to feel foggy, far away or numb, or your number climbs towards 7, stop and go to Settle.

Stopping here for today? Fold your portrait away or close the workbook. Then finish with Settle and the check-out, and add the cost, the door and the note another day.

Part two: the cost, the door and the note

About 15 minutes. Starting a new sitting? Check in first.

  1. 5
    What it costs you

    On the other side, add what your Protector costs you these days, with colours, symbols or words. Notice the cost without blaming your Protector, or yourself.

  2. 6
    Add a small door, gate or window

    What would help your Protector step back a little, when it's safe to? Draw a small door, gate or window to show it. You could write a word on it, or leave it blank. It can stay closed for now.

  3. 7
    Write a thank-you note

    On a separate piece of paper, or the card in your workbook, write your Protector a short thank-you note, three to five lines long. You could start with, 'Thank you for trying to look after me. These days I can…' You don't need to say what it protected you from.

Thank you for trying to look after me.

You've worked so hard.

These days I can ask for what I need,

a little at a time.

You can rest sometimes.

an example note

If you feel a strong pull towards an old coping habit that harms you or someone else, stop and follow the pause rules. If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Or make your portrait here, on screen

Draw with a finger, a pen or a mouse, or borrow the pieces. What it guards against goes down one side of the page, and what it costs goes down the other.

1Choose one Protector

Pick a Protector to borrow, or draw your own with the pens.

Pens

Draw your Protector as a figure, an object or a shape, or borrow one. A few lines are enough.

7Write a thank-you note

Three to five lines is plenty. Keep it to these days and the days ahead. You don't need to say what your Protector protected you from.

Ways to start:

Keep your note somewhere you'll see it, or fold it into your container.

Your portrait and note stay on this page. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere, so save them as a picture if you'd like to keep them.

When you've finished

Look at your portrait and your note for a moment. Notice what your body does. It might settle a little, tighten or stay the same. All of these are common. Keep the note somewhere you'll see it, or fold it into your container.

Then go on to Reflect, or take a break. If you're stopping for today, finish with Settle and the check-out.

If it doesn't go to plan

If the door feels like too much, make it smaller, draw a tiny window instead, or leave it out for now. A door is a possibility, not a demand.

If thanking it feels strange, write one line, or come back to the note in a few days. Some people find it easier the second time.

If the portrait stirs up memories, stop, put it away, and go to Settle. If a pull towards an old coping habit that harms you or someone else gets strong, stop and follow the pause rules.

Other ways to make it

  • Use a drawing app on a phone or tablet.
  • Make a collage from magazine shapes, such as objects, animals or patterns. Leave out photos of people.
  • Describe your Protector in a few words instead of drawing it.
  • If your hands get tired or sore, ask someone you trust to make the marks while you tell them what to draw.

Reflectwith John

What your Protector does for you

About 10 to 15 minutes

Answer as many or as few prompts as you like, and skip any you'd rather leave. Words, colours and marks all count. If a prompt stirs up more than you expected, leave it and go to Settle.

Starting a new sitting? Check in first.

  1. 1

    What does your Protector protect you from feeling?

    Circle as many as fit.

  2. 2
  3. 3

    A word or a short phrase is enough. Keep it to these days. If a memory starts to come back, leave this one and go to Settle.

If you feel a strong pull towards an old coping habit that harms you or someone else, stop and follow the pause rules. If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

  1. 4
  2. 5
  3. 6

    Keep it small and everyday, such as saying 'Let me get back to you' before agreeing to a favour, or leaving your phone in another room for an hour.

    Ideas to borrow:

Nothing you write here is saved or sent anywhere. Copy anything you'd like to keep into your workbook or journal.

Something to keep

Draw your Protector's door, gate or window in the frame. A closed one counts, or leave the frame empty for now. In Module 8, you'll copy it onto a wallet-sized card, with the other small symbols you've collected.

Draw on paper, or here with a finger, a pen or a mouse.

A faint outline to start from, if you like
My Protector's door

Settle3 to 5 minutes

Squeeze and Let Go

Every module ends here, with a short practice to help you land. If your check-in was 7 or above and you've come straight here, you made a good decision.

If tensing doesn't suit your body today, skip it. Rest your hands in your lap, or notice wherever your body is supported, such as your back against a chair. Go gently with any part of you that's sore.

  1. 1

    Sit somewhere comfortable, and let your shoulders drop a little.

  2. 2

    Gently make fists, or press your palms together, for about 5 seconds. Use about half your strength, and ease off if anything hurts.

  3. 3

    Let go, and notice the difference for about 10 seconds. You might feel warmth, tingling or heaviness in your hands.

  4. 4

    Repeat two more times. If you like, lift your shoulders towards your ears, hold them there for a moment, then let them drop.

  5. 5

    Finish by looking at your calm place image for a few moments. If it isn't nearby, look at a colour or an object you like.

The guide goes round three times: squeeze gently for about 5 seconds, then let go for about 10. Go at your own pace.

Check out

Rate your distress again from 0 to 10, and compare it with your number from the start.

How distressed do you feel now?

6 or below, and no higher than at the start: that's it for todayHigher, or 7 or above: settle once more

Tap your number when you've finished the practice.

This sitting

Start ?End ?

If you've been at 7 or above at most check-ins over a week or two, pause Draw It Out for now and talk to your GP or a therapist. You can come back to it later.

Write your numbers in the tracker in your workbook, or in your journal, if you like.

Keep closeany time

If things get hard

If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, stop now and get help. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 at any time, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Pause rules

Stop and settle if, at any point:

  • your distress reaches 7 or above
  • a memory of something painful or frightening starts to come back
  • you feel foggy, far away, numb or as if things aren't real
  • you feel a strong pull towards an old coping habit that harms you or someone else, such as drinking, using drugs or lashing out

What to do instead:

  • put the art away: turn it over, fold it, or picture it going into your container
  • do the Settle practice, then look at your calm place image
  • do something ordinary: make a warm drink, step outside, or call or message someone
  • leave the rest of the module for another day, or skip it altogether

When to get help:

  • your distress is still 7 or above after settling twice, or stays high for more than a day or two
  • you've been at 7 or above at most check-ins over a week or two
  • painful memories keep coming back

Your GP is a good first step for ongoing support. Crisis and support lines are below.

When something comes up

If a memory starts to come back

Stop. If your eyes are closed, open them. Look around the room and name what you can see. Put the art away, picture it going into your container, and do the Settle practice. If memories keep coming back, talk to your GP or a therapist.

If your calm place stops feeling calm

This is common and not a failure. Switch to a colour, an object, an animal or a plant, or rest your eyes on something in the room.

If you feel foggy, far away or unreal

Ground yourself first. Press your feet, or your hands, against something solid. Name five things you can see, hold something with an interesting texture, and say today's date and where you are. Keep your eyes open for every exercise if this happens. If it happens often, pause Draw It Out and talk to your GP or a therapist.

If you have thoughts of suicide or strong urges

If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, stop and call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger. If a pull towards an old coping habit that harms you gets strong, stop and use the support options straight away.

Support

If you need to talk to someone, or you're worried about how you're going, please reach out.

  • Lifeline13 11 14any time, day or night
  • 13YARN13 92 76crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, any time, day or night
  • Suicide Call Back Service1300 659 467any time, day or night
  • 1800RESPECT1800 737 732for anyone affected by domestic, family or sexual violence, any time, day or night
  • Emergency000if anyone is in danger
  • Outside Australiafindahelpline.comto find a line in your country

Your GP is a good first step for ongoing support. If you're already seeing a therapist or counsellor, you're welcome to bring your drawings along and talk about them in a session.

Ready for Module 5?

Tick these off when you can.

If most of your check-ins this week were 7 or above, pause Draw It Out for now and talk to your GP or a therapist. You can come back to it later.

If anything else is missing, stay with Module 4 a little longer. Module 5 will wait for you.

About Draw It Out

Draw It Out is an art-based, evidence-informed self-help course in eight modules, created by a clinical psychologist and a registered arts therapist.

Dr John Forbes, Clinical Psychologist (PhD), is a Fellow of the APS College of Clinical Psychologists and is Ahpra-registered. He works in Perth, Western Australia, and has more than 25 years of practice in schema therapy and CBT.

Hannah Nyx, AThR, is a registered arts therapist (ANZACATA) at Creative Minds Art Therapy. Hannah designed every art process in the course.

Draw It Out is educational self-help. It is not therapy and does not replace professional care. If you need support now, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency.

The eight modules

  1. 1Safety First
  2. 2Meet Your Modes
  3. 3The Inner Critic
  4. 4The Protectorsyou are here
  5. 5The Child's Needs
  6. 6The Healthy Adult
  7. 7Conversations
  8. 8Keeping It Going

See you in Module 5.

The people described in this module are fictional composites, and the example artworks were made for this course. Support details were checked in October 2026.

Draw It Out is educational self-help, not therapy. Need support now? Call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency.