Tap a petal to see what that need can look like these days.

Module 5week 5 of 8

The Child's Needs

What the young part of you needs these days

Created by Dr John Forbes, Clinical Psychologist, and Hannah Nyx, registered arts therapist (AThR)

Start this week Check in for a new sitting
or download the workbook as a PDF

Module 5week 5 of 8

Welcome to The Child's Needs

Last week, you made a portrait of one of your Protectors and thanked it in your own way. This week, you'll turn to what the Protectors guard: the Tender Child, and what it needs these days. You'll make a collage in two parts, with needs that feel unmet on one side and one small way to meet one of them on the other.

This module stays with now. You won't be asked about your childhood or what was missing then, and you can skip anything that doesn't suit you.

Time

About 45 to 75 minutes in total. Most people spread it over two or three sittings.

You'll need

Paper, old magazines or catalogues, scissors, a glue stick and coloured pencils, or the pages in your workbook. You can also make your collage on screen.

Art skill

None needed. A few lines, a scribble or a blob of colour all count.

Your workbook

This week's pages as a PDF, with a checklist of needs, a page for your collage, and a tracker for your numbers. Print the pages you'd like to use, or write on them in a PDF app.

You're welcome to print it for your own personal use.

Bring your toolkit

  • Your 0 to 10 scale, and your own words for a 3, a 5 and a 7
  • Your pause rules, so you know when to stop and settle
  • Your calm place image, or a colour or object you like
  • Your container, for anything that needs to wait

Not quite ready? If Module 4's checklist isn't ticked off yet, spend a little longer there first. This module will wait for you.

Nothing you type, draw or choose on these pages is saved or sent anywhere. It all clears when you leave or refresh the page, so keep anything you'd like in your workbook or journal.

Before you begin

Is this right for you right now?

This course asks you to slow down and get to know some tender sides of yourself. For most people that feels interesting and manageable. For some people, at some times, it can stir up more than is helpful.

Please wait, or use this course only alongside a therapist, if any of these are true for you right now

  • You're in crisis, or you're having thoughts of suicide.
  • You're currently harming yourself.
  • You often lose track of time, or feel unreal or outside your own body.
  • You're having flashbacks, where a painful memory feels as if it's happening again.
  • You're experiencing psychosis (for example, hearing or seeing things other people don't) or mania (for example, very high energy, racing thoughts and little need for sleep).
  • You're living with an eating disorder that is active at the moment.
  • Something traumatic happened to you recently, in the last few months.
  • You're in a relationship or a living situation where you don't feel safe.

Draw It Out is designed for adults aged 18 and over.

If any of these apply to you, it doesn't mean the ideas here aren't for you. It means the timing or the setting needs care. You could wait until things feel more settled. You could work through the course alongside a psychologist, counsellor or arts therapist. Or you could talk to your GP about what kind of support might suit you now.

If you're thinking about suicide, or you're not safe, please contact someone now. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 at any time, 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 if you're affected by domestic, family or sexual violence, or 000 if anyone is in danger. There are more options on the Support page.

Before this module

This module looks at what you need these days. Noticing a need that isn't being met can bring up sadness, loneliness, anger or grief. That's common.

If thinking about needs tends to bring back painful memories, please do this module alongside a therapist, or come back to it when things feel steadier.

If you've lost someone close in the last few months, or a close relationship has ended, this module may touch that loss. You might wait a while, or work through it with a therapist or counsellor.

Check in30 seconds

Check in

Check in at the start of every sitting, not just the first one. Notice how you feel right now, and rate your distress from 0 to 10.

How distressed do you feel right now?

0 to 6: carry on, and keep checking in7 or above: skip the art and settle

Tap your number. You can also write it in the tracker in your workbook, or in your journal.

Use these anchors, and your own words for them from Module 1

  • 0calm and settled
  • 3a bit unsettled, but easy to manage
  • 5stirred up, but you can think clearly
  • 7very upset, hard to think clearly or stay present
  • 10the most distressed you can imagine

If you're having thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, don't start today. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

This sitting

Start ?End ?

These pages don't keep your numbers. Write them in the tracker in your workbook, or in your journal, if you like.

Learnwith John

What the young part of you needs now

About 8 to 10 minutes to read

Hi, it's John. Last week, you met the Protectors, the ways you learned to cope. This week, we turn to what they guard: the young part of you, and what it needs these days.

How the Child modes show up today

In Module 2, you met three Child modes, the young sides of you. They aren't memories, and you don't need to picture a younger you. They're ways of feeling that can show up on any ordinary day.

  • Tender Child

    lonely, scared, ashamed or small

  • Stormy Child

    frustrated or angry when needs keep being ignored

  • Playful Child

    curious, light and free when needs are met

The Tender Child shows up as feelings like loneliness, fear, shame or feeling small. The Stormy Child shows up as frustration or anger when needs keep being ignored. The Playful Child shows up when needs are met, as curiosity, fun and ease.

Needs show up in your body and in what you do, too. A tight chest, a short fuse or reaching for your phone can all be signs that a need is calling.

Your needs are worth noticing, at any age.

In this lesson

Feelings carry information

When the Tender Child is stirred, it usually points to a need that matters right now. The feeling is a signal, a little like a light on a dashboard.

A feeling

might point to a need

Tap a feeling to see which light it turns on.

Feeling lonely after a week of rushing might point to a need to feel cared for. Feeling hurt when nobody asks what you think might point to a need to be heard. Feeling flat after a weekend of chores and no fun might point to a need for room to play.

The Stormy Child's anger carries information too. It often means a need has been ignored for a while, like feeling fed up after another late night at work. You can take the message seriously without acting on the anger.

A feeling is a signal, not a verdict.

Try this week

When you notice a strong feeling, pause and ask, 'What might I need right now?' A word or a guess is enough. There's no need to act on it yet.

If anger turns into urges to harm yourself or someone else, or you have thoughts of suicide, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Five needs, these days

Schema therapy describes five core needs that everyone shares, at every age. Here they are again, from Module 2, with what each might look like in an ordinary week.

  • Safe and cared for

    to feel safe, cared for and accepted, and to know people will stay

    These days, it might look liketime with people who are glad to see you, or a friend who checks in after a hard day

  • Free and capable

    to make your own choices, feel capable and know who you are

    These days, it might look likehaving a say in your own plans, or finishing something you're proud of

  • Heard

    to say what you feel and need, and be taken seriously

    These days, it might look likea friend who hears you out, without rushing to solve anything

  • Room to play

    to have fun, be curious and relax without holding back

    These days, it might look liketime to muck around, with nothing to achieve

  • Fair limits

    to have fair limits, manage your impulses and think of others

    These days, it might look likeclear limits on your work hours, or a bedtime that's kind to tomorrow

Needs can overlap, and they can change from week to week. This week, notice which ones feel unmet.

Having needs isn't being needy

Some people feel uneasy about having needs at all. They might worry that needing things makes them weak, or too much. It doesn't. Every person has needs, at every age.

Your Healthy Adult meets needs today

Your Healthy Adult, the kind, steady side of you, can meet many needs in the present. It does this through small actions, people, rest, limits and play.

  • small actions
  • people
  • rest
  • limits
  • play

Its job is today. It isn't trying to make up for the past, and it doesn't need to meet every need at once. A cup of tea with a friend, an early night or 10 minutes of play all count.

Your Switch-Off might offer something quicker, like a drink or an hour on your phone. That can turn a feeling down for a while, but it doesn't meet the need underneath.

Meeting your own needs isn't selfish, either. Your needs count as much as anyone else's.

If your Healthy Adult feels small or hard to find, that's common. You'll spend a whole module with it in Module 6. For now, ask what a kind, steady person would suggest.

Its job is today, not making up for the past.

When a need can't be met right now

Some needs can't be met this week, or by one person. That's common. Your Healthy Adult can still notice the need kindly, and look for one small piece of it that's within reach.

If there's nobody you can ask right now, choose a step that's up to you alone, like a warm drink, a walk or an early night.

If you don't feel safe at home or in a relationship, that's more than a small step can carry. Call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or 000 if you're in danger.

One need, one small step

Keep it small and doable: one need, one action, this week. Small steps are more likely to happen, and each one tells the Tender Child that its needs matter.

Move the step to another day

If the week gets in the way, pick a new day. A step that moves is still a step.

A small step might be a phone call, 10 minutes outside, or saying 'not tonight' to one extra job. Choose something you could do even on a tired day.

Check your step

Tick any that fit. Your step doesn't need every tick.

This module stays with now

Thinking about needs can sometimes bring up memories of long ago, or a wave of sadness about what was missing, even without a clear memory. Both are common. You don't need to look back or work anything out. Picture it going into your container, and do the Settle practice. If it keeps happening, talk to your GP or a therapist.

Next, Hannah will show you how a needs collage comes together.

JohnDr John Forbes, Clinical Psychologist

Seewith Hannah

How a needs collage comes together

About 5 minutes

Hi, it's Hannah. This week you'll make a collage in two parts: needs that feel unmet on the left, and one small way to meet one of them on the right. Here's how it comes together. The numbers match the steps further down this page.

Your turn.

In this example, the left side holds a teapot, a hammock, a kite and the word 'rest', torn from a catalogue, with a few patches of soft colour. The kite is circled: room to play. On the right, a calendar square for Saturday holds a kite and the word 'park', with a coral circle beside it.

A few tips before you start

  • Keep it simple. A few torn scraps are enough.
  • Images of things, places, colours and words work well. You don't need pictures of children or families.
  • If an image stirs something up, turn it face down and choose another.
  • If making it stirs up a lot, stop and go to Settle.

Three needs collages

These examples were made for this course, to show how different a needs collage can look. John has added a note on what each one shows.

Grace's collage

Grace's left side holds a teapot, a hammock and two friends laughing, torn from magazines. On the right, Grace drew a calendar square that reads 'Saturday: walk with Jo'. One need and one small action are plenty.

Example artwork made for this course. The person described is fictional.

Tom's drawn version

Tom drew five circles and labelled them with the five needs. They coloured in 'Room to play', and drew a kite beside it. Play is a need too, at any age.

Example artwork made for this course. The person described is fictional.

Amira's word collage

Amira cut the words 'rest', 'enough' and 'slow' from catalogues. On the right, they drew a bed and an alarm clock set a little later. Rest counts.

Example artwork made for this course. The person described is fictional.

What to notice in a needs collage

  • The left side: which needs are there?
  • The chosen need: which one is circled or coloured in?
  • The step: is it small and doable this week?
  • The Tender Child: where is its symbol?

There's nothing to work out. Noticing is enough for now.

Your collage will look different from all three. Every collage does.

Makewith Hannah

A collage of needs

About 30 to 40 minutes. You can split it into two sittings: the left side first, then the right.

Before you start. Stop and settle if your distress reaches 7 or above, if a painful memory starts to come back, or if you feel foggy or far away. Put your art away and go to the Settle page. You can come back to it another day, or not at all.

If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, stop and call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Starting a new sitting? Check in first. If you need to stop, go to Settle.

No art skill is needed. A few scraps, a scribble or a blob of colour all count. The aim isn't a good picture. It's to see what you need these days, and choose one small step.

Go gently

  • Keep to these days. Choose needs you notice now, not what was missing long ago.
  • Use images of things, places, colours and words. You don't need pictures of children or families.
  • If an image stirs something up, turn it face down and choose another.
  • Choose a step that's kind and doable, not a test. If your Taskmaster turns it into a rule, make it smaller.
  • If noticing a need brings up a lot of sadness or loneliness, stop and settle. If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Choose your version

Full version (30 to 40 minutes)

Follow the six steps below, on paper, on the page in your workbook, or on screen.

Low-energy version (about 10 minutes)

Write the five needs on a page. Colour in one you'd like to care for this week, and draw one small action beside it. That's a complete version.

No-materials version

Write or say a short list of needs. Choose one need and one small action, and set a reminder on your phone. If someone else might see your phone, use a word only you will understand.

Notice first

These days, I could use…

Tick any that fit. There's no score, and you can add your own. It can help you choose what goes on the left side of your collage.

Safe and cared for

Free and capable

Heard

Room to play

Fair limits

My own

If ticking these brings up a lot of sadness, stop and go to Settle. Noticing a need is a first step, not a to-do list.

If you don't feel safe at home or in a relationship, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or 000 if you're in danger. Then reread 'Is this right for you right now?'

What you'll need

  • a large sheet of paper, two sheets side by side, or the collage page in your workbook
  • old magazines or catalogues
  • scissors and a glue stick, and coloured pencils

Optional extras

Coloured paper, stickers or a fine black pen. Use non-toxic materials, and take care with scissors. Tearing works as well as cutting, and you can skip the glue. If a material feels unpleasant to touch or smell, leave it out. If a picture stirs something up, turn it face down and choose another.

Part one: needs that feel unmet

About 15 minutes

  1. 1
    Draw a line down the middle

    Check in first. Then draw a line down the middle of your page. The left side is for needs, and the right side is for one small step.

  2. 2
    Gather what fits

    On the left, gather images, colours or words that show needs that feel unmet these days. Tear, cut or draw them, and go with your first pick. Stuck? There are ideas to borrow below, and the checklist above can help.

  3. 3
    Arrange and glue

    Move the pieces around on the left side until they feel right, then glue them down if you like. Overlaps, gaps and wobbly edges are all welcome.

If noticing a need brings up a lot, stop and go to Settle. If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

If your Critic joins in

Your Critic might say your needs are silly, or too much. The Taskmaster might want the collage to look impressive. That's common. Notice it, name it, and carry on if you can. If it turns harsh, stop and go to Settle. If it says you're a burden, or that others would be better off without you, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Stopping here for today? Put your collage somewhere out of sight, or close the workbook. Then finish with Settle and the check-out, and choose your step another day.

Part two: one small step

About 15 minutes. Starting a new sitting? Check in first.

  1. 4
    Choose one need

    Look at the left side, and choose one need to care for this week. It doesn't need to be the biggest. Choose one where a small step feels within reach. Circle it, or put a small mark beside it.

  2. 5
    Show one small step

    On the right, show one small, realistic way to meet that need this week. A calendar square with a simple picture works well. Keep it small enough to do on a tired day.

  3. 6
    Add the Tender Child

    Add a small symbol for the Tender Child receiving it, such as a coral circle beside your step. It shows who the step is for.

Or make your collage here, on screen

Borrow pictures, colours and words, or draw with a finger, a pen or a mouse. Needs that feel unmet go on the left, and one small step goes on the right.

Borrow a picture, a patch of colour or a word for a need that feels unmet, or draw your own with the pens.

Pens

On the left, gather pictures, colours or words for needs that feel unmet these days. Go with your first pick.

Safe and cared for

Free and capable

Heard

Room to play

Fair limits

Patches of soft colour

Your collage stays on this page. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere, so save it as a picture if you'd like to keep it.

When you've finished

Look at both sides for a moment. Notice what your body does. It might soften, tighten or stay the same. All of these are common. If it tightens a lot, or your distress reaches 7, go to Settle.

Otherwise, go on to Reflect, or take a break. If you're stopping for today, finish with Settle and the check-out.

If it doesn't go to plan

If the left side feels like too much, choose one corner of it. You don't need to meet every need.

If no step feels possible, make it smaller. Even 10 minutes counts. So does asking someone for help.

If someone says no or cancels, you still took your step. Asking was the step. Offer the Tender Child something kind instead, like a warm drink or an early night.

If the week gets in the way, pick a new day. A step that moves is still a step.

If the collage stirs up memories, stop, put it away, and go to Settle.

If looking at what's missing feels hopeless, stop and go to Settle. If that feeling stays for more than a day or two, talk to your GP or a therapist. If you have thoughts of suicide, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Other ways to make it

  • Use a drawing app on a phone or tablet.
  • Make a word collage, with words cut from catalogues or written in colour.
  • Describe your needs in a few words instead of making images.
  • If your hands get tired or sore, ask someone you trust to cut or glue while you choose.

Reflectwith John

Your need, your step

About 10 to 15 minutes

Answer as many or as few prompts as you like, and skip any you'd rather leave. Words, colours and marks all count. If a prompt stirs up more than you expected, leave it and go to Settle.

Starting a new sitting? Check in first.

  1. 1

    Which need did you choose to care for this week?

  2. 2

    How do you notice that need these days: in your body, your mood, or what you do?

    Circle as many as fit.

  3. 3
    Small steps to borrow:
  4. 4

    Which mode might get in the way, and what could your Healthy Adult say to it?

    For example, a Taskmaster that says there's no time, a Pleaser that says other people come first, or a Switch-Off that says it doesn't matter.

If your Harsh Judge says you don't deserve it, your Healthy Adult can set a limit, such as 'That's enough.' If it gets louder, stop and go to Settle. If it says you're a burden, or that others would be better off without you, please reach out now. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14, any time, day or night, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

  1. 5

    A tick on the calendar is enough. If your step involves someone else, asking counts, whatever they say.

  2. 6

    Healthy Adult moment: when exactly will you take it?

    A rough time is fine. If the day doesn't work out, pick a new one.

Nothing you write here is saved or sent anywhere. Copy anything you'd like to keep into your workbook or journal.

Something to keep

In the frame, draw a small symbol for the need you chose. In Module 8, you'll copy it onto a wallet-sized card, with the other small symbols you've collected.

Draw on paper, or here with a finger, a pen or a mouse.

A faint picture to draw over, if you like
My need's symbol

Settle3 to 5 minutes

Something Soft

Every module ends here, with a short practice to help you land. If your check-in was 7 or above and you've come straight here, you made a good decision.

If you'd rather not hold anything today, look at something soft or warm in colour instead, such as a cushion, a towel or a patch of sunlight.

  1. 1

    Sit somewhere comfortable, and let your shoulders drop a little.

  2. 2

    Hold something soft or warm, such as a blanket, a jumper, a cushion or a warm mug. If it's a drink, make sure it's warm, not hot.

  3. 3

    Notice its texture under your fingers. Is it smooth, fluffy, ribbed or bumpy?

  4. 4

    Notice its warmth and its weight for about a minute. Let your shoulders drop a little more.

  5. 5

    Finish by looking at your calm place image for a few moments. If it isn't nearby, look at a colour or an object you like.

The guide takes about a minute. Notice the texture, the warmth and the weight, at your own pace.

Check out

Rate your distress again from 0 to 10, and compare it with your number from the start.

How distressed do you feel now?

6 or below, and no higher than at the start: that's it for todayHigher, or 7 or above: settle once more

Tap your number when you've finished the practice.

This sitting

Start ?End ?

If you've been at 7 or above at most check-ins over a week or two, pause Draw It Out for now and talk to your GP or a therapist. You can come back to it later.

Write your numbers in the tracker in your workbook, or in your journal, if you like.

Keep closeany time

If things get hard

If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, stop now and get help. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 at any time, or 000 if anyone is in danger.

Pause rules

Stop and settle if, at any point:

  • your distress reaches 7 or above
  • a memory of something painful or frightening starts to come back
  • you feel foggy, far away, numb or as if things aren't real
  • you feel a strong pull towards an old coping habit that harms you or someone else, such as drinking, using drugs or lashing out

What to do instead:

  • put the art away: turn it over, fold it, or picture it going into your container
  • do the Settle practice, then look at your calm place image
  • do something ordinary: make a warm drink, step outside, or call or message someone
  • leave the rest of the module for another day, or skip it altogether

When to get help:

  • your distress is still 7 or above after settling twice, or stays high for more than a day or two
  • you've been at 7 or above at most check-ins over a week or two
  • painful memories keep coming back

Your GP is a good first step for ongoing support. Crisis and support lines are below.

When something comes up

If a memory starts to come back

Stop. If your eyes are closed, open them. Look around the room and name what you can see. Put the art away, picture it going into your container, and do the Settle practice. If memories keep coming back, talk to your GP or a therapist.

If your calm place stops feeling calm

This is common and not a failure. Switch to a colour, an object, an animal or a plant, or rest your eyes on something in the room.

If you feel foggy, far away or unreal

Ground yourself first. Press your feet, or your hands, against something solid. Name five things you can see, hold something with an interesting texture, and say today's date and where you are. Keep your eyes open for every exercise if this happens. If it happens often, pause Draw It Out and talk to your GP or a therapist.

If you have thoughts of suicide or strong urges

If you have thoughts of suicide, or urges to harm yourself or someone else, stop and call Lifeline on 13 11 14 now, or 000 if anyone is in danger. If a pull towards an old coping habit that harms you gets strong, stop and use the support options straight away.

Support

If you need to talk to someone, or you're worried about how you're going, please reach out.

  • Lifeline13 11 14any time, day or night
  • 13YARN13 92 76crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, any time, day or night
  • Suicide Call Back Service1300 659 467any time, day or night
  • 1800RESPECT1800 737 732for anyone affected by domestic, family or sexual violence, any time, day or night
  • Emergency000if anyone is in danger
  • Outside Australiafindahelpline.comto find a line in your country

Your GP is a good first step for ongoing support. If you're already seeing a therapist or counsellor, you're welcome to bring your collage along and talk about it in a session.

Ready for Module 6?

Tick these off when you can.

If most of your check-ins this week were 7 or above, pause Draw It Out for now and talk to your GP or a therapist. You can come back to it later.

If anything else is missing, stay with Module 5 a little longer. Module 6 will wait for you.

About Draw It Out

Draw It Out is an art-based, evidence-informed self-help course in eight modules, created by a clinical psychologist and a registered arts therapist.

Dr John Forbes, Clinical Psychologist (PhD), is a Fellow of the APS College of Clinical Psychologists and is Ahpra-registered. He works in Perth, Western Australia, and has more than 25 years of practice in schema therapy and CBT.

Hannah Nyx, AThR, is a registered arts therapist (ANZACATA) at Creative Minds Art Therapy. Hannah designed every art process in the course.

Draw It Out is educational self-help. It is not therapy and does not replace professional care. If you need support now, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency.

The eight modules

  1. 1Safety First
  2. 2Meet Your Modes
  3. 3The Inner Critic
  4. 4The Protectors
  5. 5The Child's Needsyou are here
  6. 6The Healthy Adult
  7. 7Conversations
  8. 8Keeping It Going

See you in Module 6.

The people described in this module are fictional composites, and the example artworks were made for this course. Support details were checked in October 2026.

Draw It Out is educational self-help, not therapy. Need support now? Call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency.